After Just Transmigrating to the Great Tang Empire, I Was Assigned Wives - Chapter 1:

Chapter 1: Can Such a Wonderful Thing Exist in This Damn Old Society?!

“Run! The officials are here again, handing out wives!”

“Hurry up and run! If we’re any later, it’ll be too late!”

“Can’t they let us live peacefully for even a couple of days? Every single day it’s handing out wives. Have they ever considered how we bachelors feel? Do you know how hard it is for us to stay single?”

“Exactly. We stayed single by our own ability. On what grounds are they assigning us wives?”

…

“Zhang Mu, what the hell are you doing? Run, now!”

Zhang Mu, who had been sleeping in a pile of dry grass by the roadside, was suddenly kicked awake. He opened his eyes, completely stunned.

Where was this place? 

Just moments ago, he had been drinking with friends at a roadside food stall. Later, while relieving himself against a telephone pole, he had been shocked by electricity. 

How did he end up here?!

Rubbing his blurry eyes, he looked around at a group of ragged old and young men sprinting for their lives. Zhang Mu immediately understood that he had transmigrated.

At this moment, his mind held not only memories from his previous life but also those of this life.

In this life, he was an orphan. The old bachelor who had just kicked him awake was his neighbor, Qian Meiyou.

“Zhang Mu, can you move any faster? If we’re any later, we won’t make it. If you get caught and the magistrate’s constables shove a wife at you by force, don’t blame Old Qian for not warning you.”

Zhang Mu fell silent.

“Old Qian, why are we running?”

“Xiao Mu, did you sleep yourself stupid? The authorities are here to hand out wives again. Hurry up and run. If we’re late, we won’t escape.”

Hearing Qian Meiyou’s words, Zhang Mu’s heart began pounding.

Thump. Thump.

Handing out wives? Could such a good thing really exist in this damn old society?!

“Old Qian, are you serious? They’re really handing out wives?!”

Seeing Zhang Mu’s expression, Qian Meiyou dragged him forward at full speed while complaining, “Of course it’s true. Did a donkey kick you in the head yesterday and turn you completely stupid? This is already the third time this month. How could you forget? We barely dodged the first three times. We absolutely can’t fall into it this time.”

“Old Qian, they’re handing out wives. That’s a great thing. Why are we running? Take one home, have a bunch of children. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”

Upon hearing this, Qian Meiyou immediately looked at him with a pained expression, as if grieving over wasted potential, and shouted, “Your brain really was kicked by a donkey. You think it’s as simple as just taking a wife home? You have to pay tax. 1,000 copper coins per person per year. That’s life-threatening.”

“Then we just don’t take one. What, is it illegal not to take a wife?”

“It is.”

Zhang Mu fell silent again.

Through his conversation with Qian Meiyou, Zhang Mu learned the whole story.

This was the early Zhenguan era of the Great Tang Empire. They were in Wuxia Town under Wannian County of Chang’an City. After years of war, too many men had died. To put it plainly, there were far too many women and far too few men.

The Ministry of Revenue’s investigation showed that the empirewide male-to-female ratio had reached an absurd one to twenty.

And that wasn’t even the worst of it. The men who died in war were mostly young men. If you excluded the elderly, the weak, the sick, the disabled, and children, the ratio could reach a shocking one to sixty.

Faced with this imbalance, the authorities issued an order: all women must marry before the age of sixteen. Those who remained unmarried at sixteen would be forcibly assigned husbands by the government.

Because men were so scarce, boys of five or six and men in their fifties or sixties had become prized targets in the eyes of matchmakers.

Many young women didn’t even wait for matchmakers but went door to door themselves. Some even declared openly that they could try first, and return if unsatisfied.

With countless girls waiting for government assignment, the authorities were overwhelmed and had no choice but to dispatch magistrate’s constables everywhere to hunt for bachelors.

In these times, bachelors were truly rare, rarer than three-legged toads.

“It’s over. The officials blocked the road ahead. We can’t escape.”

“They’re ruthless this time. Blocking both ends. They’re leaving us no way out.”

“Damn it all. I’m already fifty. My life’s almost over. Who knew I’d lose my late-life virtue like this. What a sin.”

…

Hearing the complaints, Qian Meiyou shouted at Zhang Mu regretfully, “It’s all your fault. If you hadn’t dawdled, how would we have been caught? Now we’re doomed. We’ll have to tighten our belts from now on.”

Zhang Mu fell silent.

“Old Qian, aren’t you saying it backwards? If we have wives, how could we still have to tighten our belts? Shouldn’t we be loosening our belts instead? Old Qian, let me tell you—”

Before he could finish, a magistrate’s constable’s arrogant voice rang out, “Listen up. Each of you will take one wife. After taking her, go to the county office to register the marriage contract and receive 100 copper coins. Every month, you must bring your wife to the county office to report until she gives birth. Failure to report will be treated as fleeing, and an empirewide arrest warrant will be issued. Those who refuse to take a wife will be sent to the frontier to serve in the army.”

As a group of young women drew closer, the dozens of old bachelors blocked alongside Zhang Mu turned pale as ashes, trembling as if they had seen lions and tigers.

Some were so frightened that they even wet themselves.

Despite everyone else’s fear, Zhang Mu felt no worry at all.

In his previous life, he had nearly reached thirty and was still a virgin. He had just transmigrated and was about to strike it big.

This truly was an ancestral blessing.

“Xiao Mu, accept your fate. We can’t escape this time. Remember, when you choose a wife, pick one with a big face, a sturdy build, and wide hips. A big face gives you dignity outside, a sturdy build works hard, and wide hips bear children well.”

Seeing Zhang Mu’s indifferent expression, Qian Meiyou continued advising him, “Xiao Mu, remember this. Don’t choose those women with thin arms, thin legs, and slender waists. Those are just decorative. Useless…”

Before he could finish, a magistrate’s constable shouted, “Qian Meiyou, what are you chatting about? Hurry up. It’s your turn. You slippery old eel, you escaped the last few times. This time, don’t even think about running.”

Hearing this, Qian Meiyou braced himself, walked forward without hesitation, and shouted, “I want her.”

As he spoke, he grabbed a broad-minded, plump woman and walked away. Before leaving, he winked at Zhang Mu.

Looking at the woman Qian Meiyou chose, Zhang Mu immediately felt the man must be blind. With so many beautiful young women available, he had picked someone who looked like an aunt, at least in appearance.

“Zhang Mu, it’s your turn.”

Hearing this, Zhang Mu excitedly stepped forward.

At this moment, he suddenly felt as if he wasn’t in the Tang Empire at all but in a nightclub from his previous life. A large group of girls stood in line, looking at him eagerly. The feeling was indescribable.

When Zhang Mu approached, the girls’ eyes lit up. After all, young, handsome, and able-bodied men like Zhang Mu were extremely rare these days.

“Young master, don’t look at how thin I am. My hips are big. Choose me, alright? I can bear you sons.”

“Young master, choose me. I have a large chest. Don’t you men all like that? In the future, not only will the child be well-fed, you can also taste it yourself. I can even work as a wet nurse to earn money for the family.”

“Young master, choose me. I’ll handle all the housework. During the day you don’t have to do anything. At night, you only need to handle me.”

“Young master, choose me. My third cousin from my seventh grandaunt’s family works at a brothel. She secretly taught me many techniques. I guarantee your satisfaction.”

…

Not only the girls but even a magistrate’s constable quietly said to Zhang Mu, “Brother, I have a younger sister at home. She’s… well… right, she’ll turn sixteen after the New Year. How about this. In a moment, say none of these girls suit you. I’ll give you my sister instead. How about it?”

Zhang Mu fell silent.

If he couldn’t even describe his sister’s looks, she was probably a dinosaur.

“Big brother, thank you for the kindness. I’m not picky, but I won’t settle either. These girls are quite good. I’ll just pick one at random.”

Seeing Zhang Mu refuse, the magistrate’s constable shouted angrily, “Cao Xianhui, come out and go with him.”

As soon as he finished speaking, a fair-skinned, slender young woman with a smiling face ran over quickly and tightly grabbed Zhang Mu.

When Cao Xianhui chose Zhang Mu, a dark figure at the back of the crowd silently turned and left.

The movement technique was extremely fast, like a ghost.