Stinky Bandit, I’m Pregnant! - Chapter 2:

Chapter 2: Artificial Respiration

With each compression, Gu Fei felt his own heart pounding in sync. 

He muttered to himself, “Don’t you dare die in my hands, or those two maids will definitely think I was taking advantage!” He glanced at her chest and thought, “Soft and big, sure, but it only matters if she’s alive.”

After several rounds of chest compressions with no sign of recovery, Gu Fei quickly leaned down, pried open her delicate cherry-like lips, and pressed his mouth against hers, starting mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. He pinched her nose, took a deep breath, and exhaled into her lungs. Once, twice, three times… every breath was a race against death.

Da Ya saw that Gu Fei had just finished pressing her chest and now was kissing her. She was about to speak when Er Ya quickly covered her mouth and whispered, “Even though I don’t understand if this really works to save someone… Master’s movements seem pretty rhythmic. Doesn’t look like he’s being pervy.”

The two stared closely at Gu Fei’s actions.

Finally, the woman’s chest moved slightly. Then, she suddenly coughed violently a few times, spitting up river water from her mouth. She took a few quick breaths and weakly opened her eyes, only to see a man on top of her, still blowing air into her mouth.

“I…” Her voice was faint.

“Haha… she’s awake!” Gu Fei plopped down on the ground, wiped the sweat from his forehead, and burst out laughing. “This girl’s life is tough! Even that didn’t kill her!”

“What did you just do to me?” the girl asked weakly.

Gu Fei grinned, “Saved you, obviously!”

“Then why were you on top of me?”

“Also part of saving you!”

“Where am I?”

“Shangyuan County!”

“Oh…” The girl tilted her head and passed out again.

“Hurry… we need to return to town immediately!” Gu Fei knew the girl had passed out from a lack of oxygen.

“Master, you haven’t even caught a fish yet. How could we leave?” Da Ya teased.

Gu Fei pointed at the unconscious girl, “Nonsense. As a professional fisherman, how could I return empty-handed? Isn’t she…” He grinned. “A mermaid!”

Da Ya and Er Ya burst into laughter, swaying with amusement.

“Enough with the laughing! Quickly support her behind Master so I can carry her to the carriage!” Gu Fei scolded. 

He felt the two maids were getting more and more unruly.

The carriage sped along the road at the city’s edge, the wheels creaking noisily. The harsh grinding sound irritated Gu Fei, and he cursed under his breath, “Damn Cheng Quan. He must’ve forgotten to oil the bearings again!”

Just as they reached the city gates, the carriage was stopped.

Outside the carriage, Da Ya and Er Ya whispered, “Master, it’s Chief Ye who stopped us!”

Hearing it was that brat Ye Anlan, Gu Fei scowled in annoyance and snorted, “Tell her to get lost! Don’t come disturbing me on my rest day!”

“Master Gu, please step out. I have something urgent to report!” Ye Anlan’s cold voice came from the front, like an icy blade piercing Gu Fei’s heart, chilling him to the bone.

“It’s my day off. Whatever it is can wait until tomorrow.” Gu Fei didn’t want to get tangled up with Ye Anlan and refused directly.

At that moment, the Empress inside the carriage began to stir.

Inside the carriage, Xiao Lingshuang slowly woke in a daze. Hearing their conversation, she frowned slightly. “The one who saved me is the county magistrate? And that female constable outside? The rumors were true—this place really is bold and unrestrained. Even a woman dares speak in that tone?”

But both of them were fake anyway, not worthy of formal society. They couldn’t even act properly. A sneer rose in her heart. Though she hadn’t seen outside yet, she already deemed this place crude and uncultured.

“Master, if you don’t handle it now, there might be bloodshed at Qingfeng Garden’s poetry society! Don’t come blaming me later!” Ye Anlan’s tone held a clear threat.

“People die at that place?” Gu Fei nearly laughed out loud.

Ye Anlan snorted coldly, “The eldest daughters of the Xu family and Song family are having a poetry duel and can’t determine a winner. They insist you be the judge. They said if you don’t come, they’ll jump in the river, and you’ll be blamed for not caring about the people. Also, their servants are about to start brawling.”

“What! Those two brats dare use my reputation to threaten me? Just wait till I catch them—I’ll spank both their butts until they swell!” Gu Fei gritted his teeth. “Chief Ye, you go maintain order. I’ll be there soon!”

Ye Anlan let out a cold snort. “Please be quick, Master!”

Gu Fei turned to the carriage and noticed the girl was awake, watching him silently.

He was startled, thinking, “Sharp eyes. And so beautiful. What a figure. She really is bigger than Ye Anlan.”

Her wet clothes clung tightly to Xiao Lingshuang’s body, practically transparent. Thankfully, her mind was still a little foggy, so she didn’t notice how lecherously Gu Fei was staring at her.

“I’ll take you back to my place to change your clothes. If you want to see the commotion, you can come too.”

Xiao Lingshuang nodded and softly responded, “Mm.”

“By the way, what’s your name? How did you end up in the river?”

Of course Gu Fei wouldn’t save someone without asking questions. Besides, he could tell at a glance she wasn’t from Shangyuan County—he basically knew all the pretty girls in the area.

“I… I’m called Leng Lingshuang. I ran into bandits on the road, so I jumped off a cliff!”

“What… You jumped off a cliff? You’re lucky to be alive. But your name sure sounds cold!” Gu Fei squinted. “Wait, no. Within 20 kilometers of this county, there’s no way there are bandits. You’re lying.”

He was confident. Either he had wiped out or absorbed every local bandit. No bandit would dare disrespect him.

Xiao Lingshuang snorted coldly in her heart. Arrogant fool. But she knew those people weren’t bandits either, so she continued, “I’m not sure if they were really bandits… They chased me on horseback for a long time.”

Gu Fei let out a long breath. “Then they must not be from around here. Tell me where you were attacked. I’ll send someone to investigate.”

“Master Gu, I can’t remember clearly. If I hadn’t taken the wrong path, I wouldn’t have been forced to jump. I just hope my maid is still alive!” Her voice was filled with sorrow. “Please send someone along the riverbank to search.”

Listening to her tone, Gu Fei felt like he was being ordered around.

Still, when it came to human lives, he didn’t dare be careless. He lifted the carriage curtain and told a guard at the gate, “Go find Zhang Biao. Tell him to take some men and search the riverbank. If they find a girl—dead or alive—bring her back immediately!”

The guard greeted him with a military salute, “Yes, Master. I’ll go find Brother Biao right away!”

Xiao Lingshuang, watching through the curtain, saw the soldier place his hand diagonally beside his head and thought, “What kind of gesture is that?”